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that me!
03.26.04 (10:45 am)   [edit]
=http://nastyforums.com/upload...
=http://nastyforums.com/upload...
=http://nastyforums.com/upload...
=http://nastyforums.com/upload...
 
Spring...
03.09.04 (8:33 am)   [edit]
winter... spring... summer... fall...

spring is again about to come... it seemed it was only yseterday when i first saw his smile, when i first saw him...

i can't believe it has already been a year.

last year,
spring came... as he came into my life...
summer came... as we became closer...
fall came... as we fell in love with each other...
winter came... all the feeling just faded away...

white and gray all around, no color of love to go around...
cold and had nobody to hug to give warmth...
=http://www.grabeh.com/forum/a...
 
In Someone Else's Arms
03.09.04 (8:32 am)   [edit]
his smile...
his kiss...
his scent...
the picture of his hand holding mine... in my mind, slowly fades away...

but these past few nights i always have these dreams... about him...

him kissing me, holding me tight...

me saying how much i love him...


it all came back to me...


the love i had for him...

the pain he left me with...

it hurts me more, knowing that he is in the arms of someone else...
someone else is holding him...
someone else is loving him...
someone else is making him happy...
he is making someone else happy...

here i am all alone, with these aching heart. seeking for hope that i could see him... hold him... kiss him...
=http://www.grabeh.com/forum/a...
 
More Than You'll Ever Know
03.09.04 (8:31 am)   [edit]

take my hand
we'll walk a while, we'll talk a while
feel my love, always there beside you

be the one
i know you'll tell me everything
you are the one i cherish more than anything

i love you more than you'll ever know
i love you more than you'll ever see
more than my heart could ever show
i love you more than you'll ever know

think of me
and know that i'll believe in you
there'll always be this precious time together

with every tear
a love so strong, no words could ever say
a love to last forever


such a touching song...

i remember those times when carlo asks me to sing for him. and i always sing this song. those times when we sing for each other. we sing songs about our feeligs for each other. just letting each other know what we really feel.
i miss those times... i miss carlo...

i remember my bestfriend, nadine, we sing this just out of the blue, holding hands, just looking silly and just laughing about it... we walk and talk just about everything. we have shared so much together. our friendship was just one of a kind. we were always together.
i miss those times... i miss nadine...


i remember those times that jori and i listen to this song while we talk on the phone every night. he also loves this song. i even have this lyrics cross stitched in pillow case for him. and also those times when jori and i lay down next to each other, he hugs me tight and listen to this song.
i miss those times... i miss jori...
=http://www.grabeh.com/forum/a...
 
MISS'n YOU!
03.09.04 (8:30 am)   [edit]
i just miss him so much.....

i wish i can just get on with my life
and leave everything in the past
all the the pain, all the pain that he had cost me...

all the memories that we have made are still fresh in my mind.

as i wake up in the morning i remember the time i look at my phone and see a message from him, just saying i love you...

as i sleep at night his voice is the last thing i hear, saying goodnight baby, bye, i love you...

but now, i wake up in the middle of the night, i see my self crying...

because i miss him... lying there helpless, can't do anything about what i'm feeling... just wishing all the pain would just go away... but it's really hard espcially because i still love him...

but i thank you for the happy memories that he left me with, the happy moments that i truly treasure deeply in my heart.

those times when i just lay on chest, listening to his heart, having the security, of having someone...
those times when he just hugs me tight like he would never let me go...
those times when he runs to me and give me hugs and kisses...
especially those times when he kisses me passoinately!

i miss his kiss... i miss his loving... i miss him!





WHAT THE HELL!!!!! i need to get over that sad mother fucker!!!!! he is an asshole, i know that for a fact and i know that he knows that's a fact...! i just want to kick his fucking ass! he a damn piece of shit! he can kiss my ass! oh wait no! he might get a boner! go fuck off!
=http://www.grabeh.com/forum/a...
 
LAKAS TAMA!
02.04.04 (10:48 am)   [edit]

para sa mga taong nanliligaw, nagbabalak manligaw, nililigawan,
naliligaw, nag-iintay maligawan at nagbabalak lumagay sa
magulo..........


ang love ay hindi minamadali...

hindi pinipilit.. at lalong hindi kina-career...aray ko!


unang-una...

PAANO MO BA NASABING MAHAL MO NA SIYA???...

dahil ba natutuwa ka sa kanya???...

o kaya naman naaaliw ka???...

naswee-sweetan ka ba ng sobra sa kanya???...

kinikilig ka ba pag nakikita mo siya???...

at nahi-high kapag naririnig mo na ang boses niya???...


eh teka muna...

baka naman infatuated ka lang....

o kaya naman kagaya nga ng sagot mo...

BAKA naaaliw ka lang...

dahil kakaiba siya...

may spark na hindi mo maintindihan...


tsk!!!...

ang saklap nyan!...


pangalawa...


GAANO MO NA BA SIYA KAKILALA???...

madali ba siyang mapikon???...

pano ba siya mabadtrip???...

madali bang mahalata na may topak siya???...

ano bang suot niya pag nasa bahay siya???...

shorts ba o pantalon???...

nakasando ba siya o naka-t-shirt lang???...

matagal ba siyang maligo???....

kumakain ba siya ng vegetables???...

tamad ba siya???...

mas gusto ba niyang manood ng tv kaysa magbasa ng libro???...

nagpe-play station ba siya???...

tatlo ba ang pamangkin niyang lalaki???...

makukulit ba yung mga kamag-anak niya???...

green ba ang kulay ng gate ng bahay nila???...

sa village ba siya nakatira???...

may sakayan ba ng jeep na malapit sa kanila???...

nagsisimba ba siya linggo-linggo???...

kasama ba yung pamilya niya???...

at nagdadasal ba siya bago matulog???...


in short...

lam mo na nga ba???...

ang mga bagay-bagay...

ang mga simpleng bagay tungkol sa kanya...

na nagdedetermine ng sarili niya...

as in kung sino ba talaga SIYA...


pangatlo...

KAYA MO BA SIYANG TANGGAPIN???...

as in TANGGAPIN ng buong-buo...

sa lahat ng trip niya sa buhay...

sa lahat ng katopakan niya...

sa lahat ng pag-iinarte at pag-dadrama niya...

sa lahat ng kasalanang nagawa, ginawa, at gagawin pa lang niya...

salahat ng naiisip niya... sa lahat ng sasabihin niya... sa kilos niya...

sa pananamit pa pala niya... sa pagsasalita... sa pananaw niya sa buhay...

sa pagtrato niya sa tao... sa lifestyle niya...

sa uri ng pamilyang meron siya... sa uri ng kaibigang kasa-kasama niya...

sa style niya pagdating sa love... sa kasweetan niyang natural...

sa paglalambing niya... sa tawa niyang pagkalakas-lakas...

sa manners niya... sa bisyo niya kung meron man...

sa mga pang-aasar niya sayo...

sa style niya pagdating sa pagsolve ng problema...

sa problemang maaari ka ring masama...

pang-apat...

KAYA MO BANG MAGING TOTOO???...

kaya mo bang makita yung sarili mo...

na kasama pa rin siya ha...

sa isang sitwasyong pag naisip mo eh...

mapapaiyak ka na lang sa sakit...

nang dahil din sa kanya???...

kaya mo bang magmukhang tanga...

as in umiyak ng dahil sa kababawan...

ibuhos ang mga nararamdaman mo...

kahit na puro kababawan nga lang naman...

as in kahit sa harapan niya???...


kaya mo bang maging barubal pag kasama mo siya???...

yung tipo bang wala ka ng pakielam...

mawala man ang manners mo...

na wala ka naman talaga...

in short...

KAYA MO BANG MAGING IKAW KAPAG KASAMA MO NA SIYA???...

yung tipong hindi ka nahihiyang ipakita kung sino ka talaga...

dahil alam mong...

HINDI MO LANG SIYA TANGGAP...

TANGGAP KA RIN NIYA...

BUONG-BUO RIN...

MGA TAO!!!...
tama na kasi ang trip...

tama na ang pagmamadali...

oo masarap ngang mainvolve sa isang tao...

pero diba mas masarap yun...

LALO NA KUNG ALAM MONG TOTOO YUNG NARARAMDAMAN MO....

kaya dapat, hinde tayo nagpapabulag sa akala na ting LOVE....

mag antay na lang tayo....

wag natin unahan....

for all we know, nde pa pala cya ang para sa atin......

pero pag nasagot mo lahat ng nasa taas.... baka nga mahal mo na
cya....








ito naman ang response ko mga tanong....





para sa mga taong nanliligaw, nagbabalak manligaw, nililigawan,
naliligaw, nag-iintay maligawan at nagbabalak lumagay sa
magulo..........







ang love ay hindi minamadali...

hindi pinipilit.. at lalong hindi kina-career...aray ko!







unang-una...






PAANO MO BA NASABING MAHAL MO NA SIYA???... hmmmmm......






dahil ba natutuwa ka sa kanya???... yeah, his pretty funny... joker...

o kaya naman naaaliw ka???... kakaaliw din siya....

naswee-sweetan ka ba ng sobra sa kanya???... yeah, he is sweet!

kinikilig ka ba pag nakikita mo siya???... KILIG to the MAX!

at nahi-high kapag naririnig mo na ang boses niya???... di namn masyado...







eh teka muna...

baka naman infatuated ka lang.... di namn siguro...

o kaya naman kagaya nga ng sagot mo...

BAKA naaaliw ka lang...

dahil kakaiba siya...

may spark na hindi mo maintindihan... apoy ng pagmamahal nga, wika nga nila...







tsk!!!...

ang saklap nyan!...







pangalawa...







GAANO MO NA BA SIYA KAKILALA???...






madali ba siyang mapikon???... not so...

pano ba siya mabadtrip???... if makulit me, or just maarte...

madali bang mahalata na may topak siya???... lagi namn...

ano bang suot niya pag nasa bahay siya???... hmmm...

shorts ba o pantalon???... di ko napsnsin...

nakasando ba siya o naka-t-shirt lang???... never ko lnag talaga napansin...

matagal ba siyang maligo???.... sabi niya, but hindi according me...

kumakain ba siya ng vegetables???... yeah, guess so...

tamad ba siya???... sad to say, yeah!

mas gusto ba niyang manood ng tv kaysa magbasa ng libro???... definitely tv...

nagpe-play station ba siya???... yeah...

tatlo ba ang pamangkin niyang lalaki???... i don't know

makukulit ba yung mga kamag-anak niya???... din't meet them all.. but so far ok naman...

green ba ang kulay ng gate ng bahay nila???... wala sila gate!

sa village ba siya nakatira???... no....

may sakayan ba ng jeep na malapit sa kanila???... wala jeep dito!

nagsisimba ba siya linggo-linggo???... sabi niya!

kasama ba yung pamilya niya???... no...

at nagdadasal ba siya bago matulog???... that! i don't know!








in short...







lam mo na nga ba???...

ang mga bagay-bagay...

ang mga simpleng bagay tungkol sa kanya...

na nagdedetermine ng sarili niya...

as in kung sino ba talaga SIYA...







pangatlo...






KAYA MO BA SIYANG TANGGAPIN???... yes po, sa hirap at ginhawa!






as in TANGGAPIN ng buong-buo... opo naman po!






sa lahat ng trip niya sa buhay... yeah... trip niya traveling... k saken un!

sa lahat ng katopakan niya... topak?

sa lahat ng pag-iinarte at pag-dadrama niya... k naman... cute nga if nagkakacry siya

sa lahat ng kasalanang nagawa, ginawa, at gagawin pa lang niya... i'm a forging person namn eh!

sa lahat ng naiisip niya... sa lahat ng sasabihin niya... sa kilos niya...

sa pananamit pa pala niya... sa pagsasalita... sa pananaw niya sa buhay...

sa pagtrato niya sa tao... sa lifestyle niya...

sa uri ng pamilyang meron siya... family niya, k n k saken!

sa uri ng kaibigang kasa-kasama niya... but friends, ewan ko lang...

sa style niya pagdating sa love... sa kasweetan niyang natural... sweet na natural? hmmm....

sa paglalambing niya... sa tawa niyang pagkalakas-lakas... lambing... tawa!, love that!

sa manners niya... sa bisyo niya kung meron man...hay naku, bisyo niya...

sa mga pang-aasar niya sayo... panglalambing niya daw yun!

sa style niya pagdating sa pagsolve ng problema... just forget about it style niya!

sa problemang maaari ka ring masama...






pang-apat...






KAYA MO BANG MAGING TOTOO???... i'm all REAL sister!






kaya mo bang makita yung sarili mo...

na kasama pa rin siya ha...

sa isang sitwasyong pag naisip mo eh...

mapapaiyak ka na lang sa sakit...

nang dahil din sa kanya???... lagi na niya akong pinapaiyak, what's 1 more?






kaya mo bang magmukhang tanga... tanga na kung tanga!

as in umiyak ng dahil sa kababawan... tapos na po..!

ibuhos ang mga nararamdaman mo...

kahit na puro kababawan nga lang naman...

as in kahit sa harapan niya???...
am...






kaya mo bang maging barubal pag kasama mo siya???...

yung tipo bang wala ka ng pakielam...

mawala man ang manners mo...

na wala ka naman talaga... wala manners, not me!






in short...






KAYA MO BANG MAGING IKAW KAPAG KASAMA MO NA SIYA???... i'm just my self!






yung tipong hindi ka nahihiyang ipakita kung sino ka talaga... just being myself here!






dahil alam mong...






HINDI MO LANG SIYA TANGGAP...






TANGGAP KA RIN NIYA... you know what!? i don't really know!






BUONG-BUO RIN...






MGA TAO!!!...
tama na kasi ang trip...

tama na ang pagmamadali...

oo masarap ngang mainvolve sa isang tao...

pero diba mas masarap yun...






LALO NA KUNG ALAM MONG TOTOO YUNG NARARAMDAMAN MO.... how will you know ba po?





kaya dapat, hinde tayo nagpapabulag sa akala na ting LOVE....

mag antay na lang tayo....

wag natin unahan....






for all we know, nde pa pala cya ang para sa atin......






pero pag nasagot mo lahat ng nasa taas.... baka nga mahal mo na
cya....
 
02-03-04
02.04.04 (10:46 am)   [edit]
i'm just looking back, when he was introduced to me, nothing special...
but when he smile at me on his way out, there i noticed him.
then when he called, because you know how guys don't call for no reason.
they say "wala lang..." but you know what he means, "i like you"

since then i always look forward to see him,
and wait for his texts and his calls.

...just remember the first actual conversation we had,
but i was quite disappointed, because i learned he had a gf back in the philippines.

but on the second occasion, he just came up to me...
and blurted out words... and i was just like "HUH?"
and he said, he had a good news, and a bad one.
good news, he is staying here in the US for good, and bad news, he has to break up with his girlfriend.

and i told him, breaking up is not necessary, if you really love her, distance would not matter.
and i told him, like me and my bf. he was quite shocked because he din't expect that i had a bf myself, who is also back home.

days and weeks passed, and every single day he would call me, he would say he misses me and wants to see me.
days and weeks passed, and we became more open to each other, and learned so much about each other.
days and weeks passed, and my day would not be complete without hearing from him.

but one night, he told me, "it's the happiest day of my life!" for they have decided to send to california for him to finish his studies, work there, and build his life there. he was happy. i was speechless, for i felt this lil' twitch in my heart, this aching pain right about where my heart is. he asked me, "are you happy for me?" i couldn't give him an answer. all i said was, "kung masaya ka, masaya na ako para sayo." i don't know what i was saying. yes, i was happy for him, for he could have his life all back together after his loses due to his addiction to alcohol and drugs. but i was sad, because i finally had someone, and now he is leaving, a minute ago i was happy because finally, i have a friend, finally, i have someone to run to, finally, someone to be there for me. this was the most painful thing that happend to my entire life. i was wondering, why is this so painful for me, he was only my friend, then i realize, i love him. i din't want him to leave because i love him.

but i kept my feelings i had for him, and just be happy for him. i stop replying to his text messages, answering his calls and seeing him, i don't want my heart to fall deeper, knowing his days are counted. i din't want my heart to be tormented much more, than i felt right at that very moment.

a few days before he was leaving, he called, but i just missed him, and maybe just talk to him one last time. he said his goodbyes, he said, "sa sandaling nakasama kita, joie, naging close ako sayo, masaya ako, ikaw ang pinaka-espesyal kong kaibigan" but he said we might not see each other again for he din't have any plans of coming back here, it just broke me into tears. then he told me, "di na lang ako aalis, dito na lang ako, kasi may something dito na wala doon." i was so happy, but can't help but wonder what it was, what is here in Connecticut, that cause him not to leave. he said, "di ko pa alam"

days and weeks passed, i just kept my feeling aside, because i could not ask for more, as long as he was here with me i was happy. especially when he told me, i was like a sister to him, he could not fall for me.

but one night we got into an argument, i don't know how it came up, but he just said these words, "joie, paano nga kung mahal kita, mahal kita, minahal kita, noong unang pa kitang nakita." these words were such music to my ears. he asked me if i could ever love him back. all i said, "matagal na kitang minahal." i was the reason why he changed his mind of leaving for california.

we became a special part of each other's life. we shared such a loving, passionate, intimate relationship.

but his mom wanted him to go to california, i was upset by this, but i totally understood. all i needed was security from him that his coming back. he decided to stay. but i said, it's fine with me because i know your mom needs you. he told, when we were only friends, he din't even leave, now that i'm his girlfriend, his not leaving me, his not taking any chances. but he thought i din't want him anymore because i was pushing him away. he was wrong and i told him that, i love him, and he said he loved me too, that's why he's not leaving. we have settled this argument.

but the course of our relationship veered, i din't know what happend, but as time passed, our actions towards each other have changed. until i have decided to call it off, without trying to work it out.

he thought i din't love him anymore, he thought i din't care for him anymore. he thought i just gave up. but no! i still do love him, i still do care for me. but i did give up, for it was too much, pain, there was too much pain.

he decided to leave LA. the day i was anxious for, finally came.
 
HUNNY BEBZ
12.17.03 (9:49 am)   [edit]
nikko joriuan arias & me!

=http://www.tblog.com/user_ima...


my X...

cute noh? ako! not him!

hehehe....





but very sad, wala na kami...
December 25, most awaited date sana,
bcoz 4th monthssary but sadly nga hindi kami umabot...
December 7th, i called it off.

why? i don't know, gumising lang siguro ako sa katotohanan. it's about time noh! i honestly had something for him, but i don't think it was love it was just an infatuation! pero kahit infatuated a sa isang tao you will still care about him namn dba. i did care about & i still do. i miss nga eh!
 
hey ya'll
12.12.03 (7:49 am)   [edit]
ya thnk it's a good theng to start a blog?

well' think so!
hmm..... what shall i write for today? hmmmm....?!